a new land

Tomorrow is my 48th birthday. As with most of my birthdays I like to take stock of my life, where I’m at, who I’m with, what I’m doing, and what matters to me in this particular season of life. 

What I’m noticing is that this year feels more different than any birthday has in a long time. No surprise there as we’ve all been in a very different version of life for the last two years. In addition to an extremely (sometimes heartbreakingly) scaled down social life, I got Covid in 2020 and entered peri-menopause. Isolation + respiratory distress + brain fog + unpredictable mood swings + mysterious physical sensations = the feeling of arriving in a new land with no map.

My emotions have changed. My body has changed. My emotions about my body have changed.

My thoughts have changed. My relationships have changed. My thoughts about my relationships have changed.

Being me feels entirely different, and ok.

I think I like this new land.